There is hope

Got some good books, recycled some old music...

I will not let myself being dragged down by some stupid stubborn git!

There are still other blokes about.

Ha!

BurnedOut

I can do nothing more
I feel weak
Weak every day, every hour
I must reek
I can do nothing more
I feel torn
Tattered and ragged
From skin to bone worn

Open a window
A wall I can climb
Right through a door
On a cliff left behind
Tear up an abyss
And let me drop by
High as a kite
And as drawn as the sky

I can do nothing more

I feel weak

Weak every day, every hour

I must reek

I can do nothing more

I feel torn

Tattered and ragged

From skin to bone worn

Drown down my virtues
And scrap my skin bare
Self-hatred nurtures
On faith and despair
All of my hopes
That I solemnly stored
Now suddenly crushed
With their woes unexplored

I can do nothing more
I feel weak
Weak every day, every hour
I must reek
I can do nothing more
I feel torn
Tattered and ragged
From skin to bone worn

Drain up my body
And spill out my blood
Bend down my sinews
And lead out my gut
Nothing to help
And yet no more to hide
Just let me drift
And be gone with the tide

I can do nothing more
I feel weak
Weak every day, every hour
I must reek
I can do nothing more
I feel torn
Tattered and ragged
From skin to bone worn...

On the move

I'm getting there...
Back to myself again.

All silly and besotted and homesick...

But ME.

 http://www.still-my-heart.org/monty/

C L O S E D

Due to a massive identity crisis I am temporarily
OUT OF ORDER.

...might take a while.

Torn

I am undecided...

Where do I belong?

I am undecided...

Where will be my home?

I am undecided...

\: Show me the way :/

...To your heart.



[somewhere on the last Marshall&Alexander album, written by whoever]

About time

Finally...
My most favourite band of all is to be found online.
Properly! And up-to-date.
Goody.




http://www.beautifulsouth.co.uk

http://www.beautifulsouth.org/tindex.shtml

http://www.beautifulsouth.tk

http://www.btemmedia.co.uk/bsonline/index.htm

http://www.beautiful-south.de/

http://www.paulheaton.com/

http://www.biscuitboy.co.uk/

http://www.xmission.com/~dking/bsdiscog.htm

Cursed

Creepy crawly horrid feelings

Cumulate inside of me.

Tense and clammy air revealing:

That curse shot up again with glee.

Sweaty pearls on forehead glisten,

Limbs and brain so dead and cold.

No more words - why would you listen

To anything you were not told.

Still my heart beats mad as stampede,

Not a clear thought left to think.

If that is love - tuck it in concrete,

Those hormones push me off the brink.

If only if... - If only I...

Would have a hint, a sign to catch,

A sigh, a look, a word, a song...

You could be in for perfect match.

Die Besten erwischt es immer zuerst...

I know it's silly...

-Nostalgia and all that.

-But they make me hop about whenever I listen to any record.

-Goes straight from the ear into childhood-memory.

~ Neonatal Imprinting! ~

Commemorating Louis Hendrik Potgieter

(who died of AIDS in 1993)

Kinsey

Okay...

-Progress down the drains.

-Back to the Middle Ages.

... but does it really have to be that no one knows about

Alfred KINSEY and his reports anymore.

I mean, where are we??? The sodding Vatican?

Oh, ich hasse HASSE hasse KARNEVAL!!!

Yet each man kills the thing he loves

By each let this be heard,

Some do it with a bitter look,

Some with a flattering word,

The coward does it with a kiss,

The brave man with a sword!

Some kill their love when they are young,

And some when they are old;

Some strangle with the hands of Lust,

Some with the hands of Gold:

The kindest use a knife, because

The dead so soon grow cold.

Some love too little, some too long,

Some sell, and others buy;

Some do the deed with many tears,

And some without a sigh:

For each man kills the thing he loves,

Yet each man does not die.

[Oscar Wilde]

Yeuch!

So much for life shaping you down....

Had the tonsilitis of a lifetime.
After all, dying of fever was not what I had in mind
when I considered passing away in my sleep to be a nice option.


Makes you value life a bit more.

SINGING FOR THE LONELY

Shape up! Shape up! Shape up!
But it's sooo difficult if the world is constantly shaping you down.
Very frustrating that is.
Well, who would have thought that I ever felt in tune with
Robbie Williams...

Singing for the lonely

You're not the only ones who feel this

So scared of what I'm doing

All the time

Here comes wasted head-space

Paranoia

Anger, misplaced feelings

Leave me nowhere

All the time

I don't wake up early every morning

'Cause the more I sleep the less I have to say

Scared of you always thinking that I'm boring

Stop me yawning my life away

Tender young confusion

Send black mariah for blue delusions

Lays heavy oh so heavy

On my mind

I'm so sick of people's expectations

Leaves me tired all the time

If your home's full of useless aggravation

Then don't bring it to mine

I seem to spend my life

Just waiting for the chorus

'Cause the verse is never nearly

Good enough
The hooligan half of me

That steals from Woolworths

While the other lives for love

I'm so sick of people's expectations

Leaves me tired all the time

If your home's full of worthless aggravation

Then don't bring it to mine

Singing for the lonely

We're not the only ones who feel this

So scared of what I'm doing

All the time
Singing for the Lonely

We're not the only ones who feel this

Scared of what we're doing

All the time

[Robbie Williams]

Gosh, it's sad in here, isn't it?


I think it's about time to "shape up".


Any drugs anyone?
Prozac maybe....

Give me a hint with a hammer
Or give me a hit with a brick
Life is that dead old dilemma
Of chances unwilling to pick

In dark deep the shadows are trailing
Like pieces of sick cloth on string
A longing of mourning and wailing
When wet to your body they cling

Yet, I cannot give my soul in
Hand back that dead carcass of mine
Nothing to make me old heart sing
Has left heaven’s torment in time

Warum gerade ich?

Manchmal kann ich durch die Luft gehn

als ob sie sich vor mir verneigt

manchmal kann ich durch die Luft gehn

als ob sie mir den Ausweg zeigt

Dann wiederum wird mir der Kopf so schwer

als trüg ich eine Sprungschanze als Hut

dabei ist auf dem Schädel alles leer

dann geht es mir nicht gut

Warum gerade ich

warum gerade ich und nicht du

warum gerade ich

hört mir überhaupt noch irgendjemand zu

Manchmal kann ich durch die Luft gehn

als wär die Welt für mich gemacht

manchmal kann ich durch die Luft gehn

wie jemand der als letzter lacht

Warum gerade ich

warum gerade ich und nicht du

warum gerade ich

ich ersehne das Duell mit dem Tabu

hört mir überhaupt noch irgendjemand zu

Es gibt zwei drei Dinge wo ich keinen Spaß versteh

am schönsten ist es immer noch zuhaus

wär wohl besser wenn ich jetzt nachhause geh

da liefern sie nicht aus

Warum fragst du nicht

warum weißt du nicht was ich brauch

warum sagst du nichts

warum mag ich mich sobald ich untertauch

warum gerade ich

warum gerade ich und nicht du

warum gerade ich

ich ersehne das Duell mit dem Tabu

hört mir überhaupt noch irgendjemand zu

Dann wiederum fällt jede Tür ins Schloß

und unerhörte Härte kommt ins Spiel

dann heißt es wie du willst du bist der Boß

sonst bleibt mir nicht mehr viel

sonst bleibt mir nicht mehr viel

[Heinz-Rudolf Kunze]

X-Mas Horror

Why can't Christmas ever stay nice?

You're always looking forward to it, singing along....

And then - BANG - that stressful feeling hits you with a brick.

I am disappointed.

I want cookies!

Und man wird verdammt nochmal nicht krank nur weil man keine Puuuhschen trägt!!!

- Verfluchtes Sauerländer Pack -

DON’T THINK TWICE

It ain’t no use to sit and wonder why, babe

It don’t matter, anyhow

An’ it ain’t no use to sit and wonder why, babe

If you don’t know by now

When your rooster crows at the break of dawn

Look out your window and I’ll be gone

You’re the reason I’m trav’lin’ on

Don’t think twice, it’s all right

It ain’t no use in turnin’ on your light, babe

That light I never knowed

An’ it ain’t no use in turnin’ on your light, babe

I’m on the dark side of the road

Still I wish there was somethin’ you would do or say

To try and make me change my mind and stay

We never did too much talkin’ anyway

So don’t think twice, it’s all right

It ain’t no use in callin’ out my name, gal

Like you never did before

It ain’t no use in callin’ out my name, gal

I can’t hear you any more

I’m a-thinkin’ and a-wond’rin’ all the way down the road

I once loved a woman, a child I’m told

I give her my heart but she wanted my soul

But don’t think twice, it’s all right

I’m walkin’ down that long, lonesome road, babe

Where I’m bound, I can’t tell

But goodbye’s too good a word, gal

So I’ll just say fare thee well

I ain’t sayin’ you treated me unkind

You could have done better but I don’t mind

You just kinda wasted my precious time

But don’t think twice, it’s all right

(Bob Dylan)

Pisa here we come

Why is it okay in this country
not to know people like
Gershwin or Kurt Weill,
but if you're unaware of
Loki Schmidt
you'll be tarred and feathered?

I feel disregarded in my transnationalty!

(I bet there are laws on this. Discriminated I am! Ha!)

Fed up

Life is just NOT co-operating!